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MY AUTO-BIOGRAPHY 437

and as I got closer to the counter, it just got more pronounced, the leading moments that brought me today to my life’s climax, the pressure of appeasing a fury that hell does not possess, the fury of a woman, never been scorned..
as has been the unwavering dictum of my bountiful, curvaceous life, there it stood in front of my Oracle like eyes, something that I had for the first time forgotten to foresee, in all its unassuming glory, the cracked, bent, blunt edged, mute testimony, the “HOUASE PHUL- whit,blak, all selled” board.

So amazing, how a paan inked, ash decorated piece of cardboard, can be a loud changing lanes signal, that again a sensitised urban rule following God believing man like me could be blind to..

Even before fact or the ingenious spelling could get translated to untold joy of the unexpected blessing, in that split second of bliss devoid of complaints and foreseeable tantrums, even before the moves that would let me flee to freedom were properly planned, my overloud attaché on the arm wailed loud enough to express the pain of all the other queue members and overwhelm them away to seek other options for their special weekend evening, while she like the Rajdhani came up with ours.

Then when reality finally managed to make her whining presence felt and destroy my moment of silent revelry, I found myself already being manoeuvred with the aide of a blubbery arm, this time squeezed up between my own inconsequential bicep filled out arm and a highly threatened ribcage, towards the car park to take up the pole position all over again.

Then amidst shrill blasts of what you honeybun should not have done, not today at least, and while all those lists of special attributes that made me ME, and hence perennially faulty, the all too familiar brainwave of lets-go-walking-on-the beach was announced to a fumbling searching me, partly to loosen and extract her hold, and honestly searching for the keys, at the corner bend was waiting my link to the present.

Like in the typical turning point in the movie that we luckily didn’t see, kaboom and I crashed unknowingly, uncomplainingly with a soft somebody.
This is why I had earlier made a point about a woman always hitting us poor stronger gender hard and literally for me, as the one on my arm fell down flung away and I came down and tumbled after like jack, but with jane in my arm, and was met by the first most heart warming frown.

While in the jolt of the collision, a hairy forearm was let go in search of other follicles, from an oversized purple-veined upper arm, another grabbed a waist. As expensively parlour cared hair got rudely fussed up, nature’s most well thought out position, Man on the Top, got carried out and finally the evening’s climax was brought about...