Been more than a couple of years pending, in the writing, but here we are today...my latest post, my katha ka update, my status quo in life..I am fine now!
To be honest, 2 years ago, I was a mess, needy, clingy and guilty of it all.
And now I am not guilty!
Each day adds on to the long script of the manuscript of my life and before I realise, yesterdays triumphs are todays trivialities, tomorrows dreams are too foggy and far away and today is just another day..
I stayed guilty and afraid for a long time and unsure of the direction in which I was headed in and I still am, unsure of where I am headed and what my life will be, but if it's worth anything, the me inside has a better and confident dialogue than it used to have, and my footfall isn't so shaky anymore.
The dreams that I had and the decisions that I made, the way most scars fade, and the truth behind the facade, that peeps out seldom from the shade, showed me that it was okay to be afraid and thats when the adieu was bade.
At the ending of a page, there is the beginning of another but in reality there is a certain uncertainity and vaccuum that takes it's place in the middle...And when it slowly dissipated like a fresh breath of air and life came a familiar fragrance..(on a complete tangent, remember oldspice?) making me swoon and fall and thereby come out of the cocoon of questions with not many answers but at least with a remnant symbol of that old ally, hope and a new friend, strength that I didn't know existed in me.
A pretty average run of the mill butterfly I may have turned out to be and for the same, for that conquest of the quagmire and binds that still have the power to touch, if not blind me, I am grateful and proud.
All the while, there are new goals to reach and like the brook I have miles to go, but like a dandellion seed on the wind, feeble, fluttering, feminine and funnily enough, I am sure I'll find my feet..sooner or later!
1-10am
Feb 6, 2009
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